by Stephanie Linehan
Arrived
I show up to hot yoga at Santosha Studio on any typical weekday evening. I tiptoe through fellow members set up and stretching and/or meditating while they wait for the start of class. I quietly roll out my mat. Place a bolster under my back, parallel to my spine. Arms stretch out wide (heart opener). Legs elongate and toes point fiercely toward the wall. Instructor, Mary Lou, encouraging us to take up as much space as we can. I inhale the largest breath ever. And fully exhale. Relief from a long day. Ahh, finally. I have arrived.
A few Labor Day weekends ago, on a beautiful, most perfect end-of-summer Saturday, my dad and I kayaked the lower of the lower Kinnickinnic River. We started from the parking lot off of County Road F and made our way down the sandy-bottom, spacious winding of our beloved river. On a mission was to reach the Saint Croix River. At the rivers’ confluence (New word. I googled it. You’re welcome.), we felt triumphant and happy. We had … arrived. But only to realize and remember the huge hill to the parking lot we had yet to conquer. Kayaks in tow. This being such a metaphor for life. One goal leading to another. Never feeling satisfied. Continually striving and learning.
How about the one time I drove the River Valley Catering van to the wedding venue in Somerset, WI. Plugged the directions into my phone. Followed carefully. Overcompensated my intuition. Missed a turn. Was rerouted. Turned into someone’s dirt driveway. And Suri announces, “You have arrived!” Well, no, Suri. No, I have not.
What I thought it meant to have ‘arrived’ was being up on a stage of sorts. I visualized and manifested; hoped for, prayed for, and worked hard for a large audience ahead of me. A confident, wise voice coming from me. A social media presence. All the while completely, utterly captivating everyone with my life and lessons. I thought ‘arriving’ meant something epic. Something surreal. Something remarkable. Unique and unexpected.
‘Arrived’ for me happened ‘beautifully’ on a Sunday afternoon. A forced family fun day. At Wild Mountain. While go-karting with the fam. We waited in the hot, open sun. Finally, we had our turn of four to grab one of the eight go-karts. I was toward the front but knew once they unleashed the gate, I’d stay back. I wanted to capture my family in action. Racing one another. More like cutting off one another, ha! I slowed just enough to get the rubber wheel caught up on the metal railing along the track. The attendant having to walk over and get me unstuck. Typical me. I’m not that graceful and quite often abruptly obvious. Anywho, at one point, casually driving along the track, I peer back to catch my family at full speed trying to maneuver around one another. Smiles and laughter. Competitive nature and fun. I sigh deeply, heavenly. Like an evening on my yoga mat. I had arrived. ;)
‘Notice’ became a classroom mantra for me and one I encouraged with my students. To notice themselves in a moment of learning and what they needed in order to be successful. And to notice those around them. Notice their own contribution to the group and how others were acting/reacting. My Viterbo University classmate and fellow servant leader, Martha, recently wrote on Facebook that she had “slowly eased into a new era.” She notices birds more, enjoys solving Wheel of Fortune puzzles, and appreciates the hum of the dishwasher. Same, Martha. Same. Striving for moments (and deep breaths) of ‘I have arrived,’ makes me gushingly grateful. Because there are so many more small, sweet moments. Not epic ones. And I continue to strive to ‘be where my feet are.’
Dave Skogen, of LaCrosse-based Festival Foods, writes in his book Boomerang: Leadership Principles That Bring the Customer Back, “I haven’t arrived.” In his pursuit of maintaining and increasing patronage, he knew he never could settle. He had to keep going. He had to keep figuring out, learning, trying, and making things happen.
Author Bob Goff, too, writes, “He’s more interested in making us grow than having us look finished. He wants us to realize I’m just not quite there yet.”
You know when we’re chasing something that we really want whether it’s a job title or a promotion or some sort of milestone in our business or our career and we get it and we’re hoping for that feeling? Something that’s like, “Yeah, we did it!” What’s interesting, is that studies actually show that that dopamine hit that we are so desperately chasing in our life actually happens before we reach the goal. Before we get there, we get that hit of dopamine. We get it on the way to what we want. So what this means for me is, how can we actually love the process instead of waiting for the outcome?
- Jess Ekstrom, speaker & author
Be humble, be teachable, and always keep learning. - Unknown
We live to find out who we are. - Dave Skogen
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