By Stephanie Linehan
None of us are sheltered from defeat or devastation. None of us. The rug gets pulled out from under you. The wind gets knocked out of you. It’s out-of-the-blue and shocking. You’re filled with disbelief, bewilderment, and confusion. You gasp for air but you’re left breathless or barely breathing. It hurts so bad. To put it simply (but defeat and devastation are nowhere near simple), it’s like stubbing your toe. The initial shock, pain, anger, and questioning. Time passes. How long? Who knows. But somehow you warrior* on. Later on, something triggers you. Emotions are heightened and raw again.
Then you might reach what I deem the other side. You’ve reacted, coped, realized, managed, and perhaps … grown. You might experience an elevated amount of empathy and sympathy for others, especially those who could be in your shoes. You might sense it without them even saying a thing. It’s usually in people’s eyes. Or mannerisms. Their nervous energy. Their withdrawal. Or even sometimes, their control.
You carry on. But you always remember. You still cry and get angry. Others check in with you. Worry about you. But you’ve also developed this secret pact with yourself that something like this cannot and will not ever happen to you again. You might go through an uber-aware phase. Heightened awareness of everything around you - people, surroundings, conversations, non-verbals, behaviors, idiosyncrasies, God winks**, coincidences, etc. You strive to notice everything and anything. You question and experience self-doubt. Your secret pact also helps build a wall, sort-of-speak, to protect you. You promise yourself nothing will get by you ever again. You’ll be prepared for the next time. All of this pans out so differently for so many people.
You realize how strong, independent, and capable you are. You rely on the strength of something or someone bigger than you. Looking over you. Looking ahead for you. And you trust. You might become okay with the inevitable or the non-invincible in life. And somehow someday it might somewhat make sense or feel better.
Maybe. Kind of. Perhaps. Somehow.
I’ve recently witnessed a few people’s crushing moments. Been there. By their side. I’m reminded of mine …
*
MOMENTS OF IMPACT
My life has been defined by a series of moments of impact. Moments I've felt collide with me at such force they've reshaped my entire identity. Moments that unapologetically burnt my world, as I knew it, to the ground, leaving me to sift through the ashes.
Each and every time I felt the ground stop shaking I'd find myself with a paintbrush in my hand, recreating the image of who I was. As I gaze upon the canvas in front of me I see the significance of each brush stroke.
I see depth, I see character, I see wisdom, I see experience, I see growth, I see humility, I see empathy but most importantly, I see how these moments of impact are stroke by stroke creating a more beautiful me.
- Cindy Cherie
Life is amazing. And then it’s awful. And then it’s amazing again. And in between the amazing and the awful, it's ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That’s just living, heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it’s breathtakingly beautiful. - LR Knost
I’m not telling you it is going to be easy - I’m telling you it’s going to be worth it.
- Arthur L. Williams, Jr.
One of the recurring core truths I witness about the human psyche is that those who face the darkest parts of their life with courage, loving acceptance, and surrender — always — experience a massive blossoming in their life after. Confront the dragon; get the gold.
- sharing from a post @victoriaericksonwriter
* Two of my favorite authors/speakers/activists share the word ‘warrior’ in their book titles: Love Warrior by Glennon Doyle and Sage Warrior by Valarie Kaur.
** God Winks ~ the most heart-warming, meant-to-be, and reassuring signs
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